"I was born in the arms of imaginary friends"

So I'm sitting in the activities center or whatever it's called, at FSCJ and i swear i think I'm about to cry. I'm getting all these picture texts and status updates and wall posts about all the fun people are having playing in the snow. And frankly I'm straight up sad that I'm not there with you all. I'm stuck here in stupid florida where it rains 24/7. I Miss you guys so freaking much! And it always seems to snow whenever I'm not there! Last year during Spring break it snowed the day after I left! Grrrrr! and as if this wasn't already depressing enough, I don't know ANYBODY here! NO ONE! not a single person! I was afraid of this. I regret coming home during times like this, but hopefully, HOPEFULLY there won't be too many more times like today. Keeping my fingers crossed. ugh I wanna be happy and have fun with someone other than my family. There had better be some freaking awesome people at the Orlando Airport at the end of February... you know who you are ;)

So any who, I'm gonna go see if the rain has lightened up at all... I miss you all so freaking much! <3
Rachel

ooo I think I'm gonna try doing a video blog soon :) whatcha think?

title - Half of my Heart by John Mayer

I am really tempted to go out on my balcony and scream "FUCK THE U.S. ARMY!" as loud as i can...

i'll explain this all later, but just to clarify, i'm not a terrorist or anything just really, really angry...

"It's the way it should begin, It's the way it should begin again"

Well it's been a week since i've gotten home. I know i've haven't posted in a while and i totally knew that was going to happen, but I said I would try. But anywho, now that the holes in my mouth that once held my oh so annoying wisdom teeth have pretty much healed and i'm not loopy from any pain meds or passing out from hypoglycemia (yes i almost did... twice), I think it's time to get back to blogging.

So here we go... the past few days have been extremely productive for me. I went to FSCJ and UNF to make sure all my classes were right and that I had paid for FSCJ. Can I just tell you, my school bill went from 3000$ to 220$ in a matter of a few days! That is freaking ridiculous! And it helps out my parents SO much! But there was one thing that happened when I was at FSCJ that i really want to touch on. When I was walking back out to my car after i triumphantly told my dad how much my semester cost, I happen to run into an old friend of mine from High School. She wasn't one of my best friends but she ran on the XC team with me. But what was so awesome about it was that she looked at me and was like "Rachel!?!?" and I kinda stopped and looked at her (i was looking into the sun so that made it kinda hard to see). Lyndsey?!?! Lyndsey Sexton?!?! I totally hadn't expected to see her of all people, but it really made my day. Oh and the other funny part is that when I came up and gave her a hug she said "OMG you haven't gotten any taller!" It just made me laugh and made me think how I was happy to be home.

I've have this mindset that people will think I failed because I transfered back home. People just need to realize that I came home to help my family, not because the school was terrible, or that I made the wrong choice. It's gonna be a pain in the butt to explain that for the next year but oh well. There are actually a few certain people who I'm most worried about. Not gonna name names, but they are the people who don't like to fail and I know that when they see other people fail or make a mistake they judge them really hard. And its stupid and rude. Making mistakes help you learn about yourself. They make you a better person. Just because you don't have the courage to do so doesn't give you the right to judge people who do! By being able to go out into the world knowing that you can and will make mistakes is much better than trying to live each day without making mistakes. Way too much stress living like that.

But what i'm trying to say is that I don't want people to judge me because they think i've failed by not finishing all 4 years at the same school. I was one of the VERY FEW people in my graduating class to go to an out of state school. There were 10 senior girls on my XC team and I was 1 of 3 who decided to run in college. I had done everything right to find the school that would fit me best and that would be far enough away from the people from my HS that I hopefully would never have to see them again... or at least for a very, VERY long time. I hated HS if you hadn't caught on yet... but my freshman year at SWU was the best year of my life. I'd never had so many wonderful friends, or people that truly cared about me. The girls from my HS were bitches, or at least most of them. At SWU I was surprised that people asked me to come hangout with them. That just hadn't happened to me before. Ever.

So why come home? Obviously it wasn't that I hated going to SWU. I mean yeah there were a few things and people that I could have lived without, more specifically the stupid rules, but they were a big enough pushing force to send me home. I'm coming home to help my family. My dad is getting deployed and My mom is spending weeks at a time at Duke hospital with my brother to get help with his allergies. I still have another brother and a dog, who between me and you is basically a 3rd brother, and the favorite kid in my mom's eyes, at home to take care of. Back to the financial part of it, yeah my dads a doctor but that doesn't mean we have money lying around. My parents have 3 kids in private schools because the public schools in Jacksonville suck balls. Stupid budget cuts took all the money and good teachers. I'm saving them $3000!!!

Unfortunately the people that need to read this post won't, and I will be judge some what, but i've grown a lot at SWU and can take care of myself better. I'll just give 'em a big, huge FUCK YOU! and we'll see what happens. They won't know what hit 'em!


Title: "Begin Again" by Colbie Caillat

"Here's a little heart for you, Up above the world, Up above it all"

So I'm taking the phrase "I get by with a little help from my friends" literally for the next year. I really don't know how i'm going to be able function without Emily and Jackie busting in and falling asleep on my bed or having to walk like freaking half a mile down the hall to visit Mary. I love them, with my whole heart. I can't believe the friends that I have found here at SWU. I had such a hard time in High School finding really good friends, that it is super SUPER hard to leave the wonderful friends I have here. All Mary had to say was "you are one of my best friends" and i was gone. She was the last person to leave for Christmas break and as many times as she said, "now don't go to your room and cry", I did. Actually I balled. Like super hard. And now this daggum hall looks like a creepy insane asylum from some horror movie. So I'm chilling in Gracie's room. The lovely girl who offered me her food and room for the day. Love her. end of story lol. The Chicken Noodle Soup was awesome by the way. Just what I needed. You girls have been the inspiration to everything I do on a daily basis, the "wind beneath my wings". Sounds cheesy, I know but its true. And the next year, the next semester is going to be SO hard. Not trying to be selfish or anything, but I am leaving some of the best people in the world to go home to who knows what. What I'm trying to say, is you all had BETTER keep in touch because there will be, I can assure you multiple, tearful, possibly sobbing, phone calls to you guys when I am frustrated with the lovely, yet extremely dysfunctional family i will be living with at home. I love them, no doubt, but hey, friends are God's way of apologizing for Family, right? But I know that I can't do it alone, so I'm asking you all, as my best friends to make sure I stay sane next semester, cuz otherwise I will seriously go crazy without you all. I love you guys to pieces and I WILL see you all during spring break, whether it is mine or yours!

Title: "Don't Let Me Fall" by Lenka

I Hate exams...

Especially the ones that I study real hard for and then it ends up being different stuff.
First of all its pathetics... i mean aesthetics, which is boring in itself. But all the information was about different periods of art and stuff and i learned the details about the parts of each period. The exam on the other hand was about each of the periods as a whole. F.M.L.
Classes this semester majorly sucked. Like MAJORLY!!! Hopefully next semester at FSCJ will be better... 6 days! :)

oo and listen to this idea... I haven't told my best friend that i'm coming home in January yet... hehehe... so for christmas i'm gonna give her a card with a printed version of my FSCJ schedule... and i'm just gonna watch her reaction... I can't wait!!! :D

"Sitting on the dock of the bay wasting time..."

OK so i'm not exactly sitting on a dock of a bay, but i am most definitely wasting time...
here's a little funniness i found whilst browsing the Blogging world...

APARTMENT for RENT
THIS IS TOO FUNNY ...

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. Morning before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

'Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that:

#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.'

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check f or $250 with the following note:

'Dear Sir:

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady...

"Cuz I'm only me when I'm with you!"

I'm sitting in Java with Mary. I love her to pieces. Definitely gonna miss her bunches next semester! :(
Here's a few things to remember next time you are thinking about. Shout out to my BFFs! Mary, Jackie, Emily, Marina, Karina, Gracie, and Ebus! I love you all! <3