"It's the way it should begin, It's the way it should begin again"

Well it's been a week since i've gotten home. I know i've haven't posted in a while and i totally knew that was going to happen, but I said I would try. But anywho, now that the holes in my mouth that once held my oh so annoying wisdom teeth have pretty much healed and i'm not loopy from any pain meds or passing out from hypoglycemia (yes i almost did... twice), I think it's time to get back to blogging.

So here we go... the past few days have been extremely productive for me. I went to FSCJ and UNF to make sure all my classes were right and that I had paid for FSCJ. Can I just tell you, my school bill went from 3000$ to 220$ in a matter of a few days! That is freaking ridiculous! And it helps out my parents SO much! But there was one thing that happened when I was at FSCJ that i really want to touch on. When I was walking back out to my car after i triumphantly told my dad how much my semester cost, I happen to run into an old friend of mine from High School. She wasn't one of my best friends but she ran on the XC team with me. But what was so awesome about it was that she looked at me and was like "Rachel!?!?" and I kinda stopped and looked at her (i was looking into the sun so that made it kinda hard to see). Lyndsey?!?! Lyndsey Sexton?!?! I totally hadn't expected to see her of all people, but it really made my day. Oh and the other funny part is that when I came up and gave her a hug she said "OMG you haven't gotten any taller!" It just made me laugh and made me think how I was happy to be home.

I've have this mindset that people will think I failed because I transfered back home. People just need to realize that I came home to help my family, not because the school was terrible, or that I made the wrong choice. It's gonna be a pain in the butt to explain that for the next year but oh well. There are actually a few certain people who I'm most worried about. Not gonna name names, but they are the people who don't like to fail and I know that when they see other people fail or make a mistake they judge them really hard. And its stupid and rude. Making mistakes help you learn about yourself. They make you a better person. Just because you don't have the courage to do so doesn't give you the right to judge people who do! By being able to go out into the world knowing that you can and will make mistakes is much better than trying to live each day without making mistakes. Way too much stress living like that.

But what i'm trying to say is that I don't want people to judge me because they think i've failed by not finishing all 4 years at the same school. I was one of the VERY FEW people in my graduating class to go to an out of state school. There were 10 senior girls on my XC team and I was 1 of 3 who decided to run in college. I had done everything right to find the school that would fit me best and that would be far enough away from the people from my HS that I hopefully would never have to see them again... or at least for a very, VERY long time. I hated HS if you hadn't caught on yet... but my freshman year at SWU was the best year of my life. I'd never had so many wonderful friends, or people that truly cared about me. The girls from my HS were bitches, or at least most of them. At SWU I was surprised that people asked me to come hangout with them. That just hadn't happened to me before. Ever.

So why come home? Obviously it wasn't that I hated going to SWU. I mean yeah there were a few things and people that I could have lived without, more specifically the stupid rules, but they were a big enough pushing force to send me home. I'm coming home to help my family. My dad is getting deployed and My mom is spending weeks at a time at Duke hospital with my brother to get help with his allergies. I still have another brother and a dog, who between me and you is basically a 3rd brother, and the favorite kid in my mom's eyes, at home to take care of. Back to the financial part of it, yeah my dads a doctor but that doesn't mean we have money lying around. My parents have 3 kids in private schools because the public schools in Jacksonville suck balls. Stupid budget cuts took all the money and good teachers. I'm saving them $3000!!!

Unfortunately the people that need to read this post won't, and I will be judge some what, but i've grown a lot at SWU and can take care of myself better. I'll just give 'em a big, huge FUCK YOU! and we'll see what happens. They won't know what hit 'em!


Title: "Begin Again" by Colbie Caillat